Horror Missed

Dear Reader,
Your Gilbert has been unable to entertain you for a few weeks. They don’t allow internet access in jail.
You haven’t missed much. That’s not to imply that the city council hasn’t been busy, but they have been boring. It’s not their fault, it is just impossible to beat the eye-widening horror of last year’s budget sessions. Every week brought new terrors as county and state administrators on high cut us, then cut us again, heedless to the city’s naive appeals for fairness.
No such luck this year, Dear Readers. You’ll just have to settle for news that doesn’t give you nightmares. Sorry.

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Needs and Wants

Dear Readers, Only one resident spoke out at the city council's April 25 budget public hearing. That one resident made a passionate appeal to reduce the tax burden on

Booze – No License, Just Tax

Dear Readers, No beer and wine store this year! The state bill to grant beer and wine "off-sales" licenses in Takoma Park, was apparently talked to death. The guy who allegedly

Lights and Mics

Dear Readers, The council said the $500,000 auditorium renovations were a good example of how to use grant money, not city money, to do something - like renovate Flower

Sidewalk Scuffle

Dear Readers, Sidewalk wars continue. Two petitions asking the city not to put sidewalks on certain streets were presented at the March 28th council meeting. They were triumphantly presented

Municipal Marriage Bill Stuck

Dear Readers, A bill that could make Maryland the first state to allow municipal marriages is tied up in subcommittee. Senate Bill 934 was sent to the Senate Judicial Committee's

CLAY ADMITS CALIFORNIA FLAW!

NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! "There are some bad ideas in California!" Councilmember Colleen Clay conceded at the March 21 City Council meeting. She specifically criticised how California's

PILOT Grounded

Dear, Reader, Unbelievable! Literally, we DON'T BELIEVE IT! The council appeared to turn down a PILOT request. We are skeptical. PILOT stands for a long, misleading phrase that means "tax exemption".

Which Sidewalk Are You On?

Dear Readers, The city's email lists are flooded with a tsunami of exchanges about sidewalks. The earthquake that set it off was a letter accusing the city government of

Fast Trees, Slow PILOT

Dear Readers, It's amazing what they can accomplish in seven minutes! And how they can spin their wheels for forty. The council quickly dealt with tree issues March 7 just

Rustlers!

Dear Readers, Does the thought of the Crossroads Farmers Market make you hungry? It makes the city council hungry, judging by the background sounds when the market directors made

Simmering Sidewalks

Dear Readers, "People who say we shouldn't build sidewalks for environmental reasons are wrong!" said Mayor Bruce Williams. The city should proceed with new sidewalk designing, he said. He

Police, Plates, Pies, Pensions, and Packies

Dear Readers, The budget is coming! You can't see it yet, Dear Readers, but off in the distance you can hear the rustling of its black, bloody robe, and

Speeding on the Sidewalk

Dear Readers, "A few voices" brought sidewalk construction to a halt in January. Those voices alleged that new sidewalks cause environmental damage. They also said that the council was

Ten Cents Nonsense!

Dear Readers, They want to raise taxes on BOOZE!!! This time, it's PERSONAL! This means war! Fetch the bottle! The city council voted unanimously Feb. 14 in support of a proposed

Flower Funnies

Dear Readers, The Feb. 7 city council meeting was a comedy tour do force. A tour de force, that is, compared only with the rest of the year's meetings. First

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